


these are the words I held back

by awesomeaislin



Series: Carry On Countdown 2018 [6]
Category: Carry On Series - Rainbow Rowell
Genre: Alternate Universe - Hogwarts, Fluff, M/M, NOV 30 - Hogwarts AU, almost no real plot, as always, like nothing unique about that
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-30
Updated: 2018-11-30
Packaged: 2019-09-02 11:00:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,078
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16785628
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/awesomeaislin/pseuds/awesomeaislin
Summary: Baz follows Simon into the forbidden forest, and they have the first civil conversation of their lives.Day 6 is a Hogwarts AU"And he is a travesty. A complete wreck. An idiot. The love of my life."





	these are the words I held back

**Author's Note:**

> i dont even know what I'm doing anymore. It's just one mental breakdown after another, but here we are.

Honestly, this is the worst idea anyone has ever had. Ever since the Mage took over, he’s been changing things for the worse. 

First to go was the dress code, now people can wear whatever they want. I’m a fan of freewill and all (most of the time), but honestly if I ever have to see another student wearing crocs and socks with multicolored sweatpants I’m going to gouge my own eyes out. 

Then it was more intense physical studies. “You have to be ready to go to battle at any time.” Right because every reasonable person is always prepared to fight. 

But the worst by far, was changing the dorms. People no longer live with their houses. Now there’s an even mix of students in each common room. The houses have separate spaces for meetings, but otherwise he’s basically gotten rid of what made Hogwarts special: Living with your friends. 

Honestly, that’s how I’ve ended up in this mess. It’s not my fault Snow is constantly sneaking out to meet his common room friends. They’re a perfectly diverse group. A Ravenclaw, a Hufflepuff, and a Gryffindor all in one friend group. That’s probably why the Mage holds Snow on such a pedestal. 

So Snow sneaks out, and I follow because I’m not going to be out of the loop just because we’re ‘enemies’ or whatever. Which is why I’m always there when they get into trouble. 

Like the time Snow went out and found a Dragon. 

Or the time Penelope messed them up trying to create a Polyjuice potion(I still have photos.)

Or the time Agatha told Snow that if he wanted more food he should probably just look in the kitchen, and there just happened to be a troll in the kitchen because of course there was. 

Because it’s Snow.

And he is a travesty. A complete wreck. An idiot. The love of my life. 

Don’t act so surprised. It’s not like being a Slytherin means you don’t have feelings or that you’re evil (no matter what Snow says). Sure, I don’t like most people. I do what it takes to succeed. But I’m not a monster. 

  
  


Snow has been claiming I’ve been trying to kill him for years. It’s all “Baz tried to push me down the stairs!” and “Baz tried to feed me to Chimaera!” and “Baz me fail my test.”

It’s ridiculous. 

So yeah, I follow him when he sneaks out at night. I don’t want him to meet danger and then say it was my fault and not be prepared. Plus it’s fun to mess with him. Sometimes I throw a stick at him or make random noises, just to freak him out. 

He doesn’t meet up with his gang tonight though which is troubling. He’s much more impulsive without them. I’m convince Bunce is his common sense filter most of the time, and Wellbelove steps in when he manages to get Bunce on board. 

Instead he just goes out into the night, and sits under a tree. 

“What the fuck do you think you’re doing?” I ask him because why not? Honestly, what do I have to lose? 

“What the fuck do you think  _ you’re  _ doing?” He retorts. Wow, he’s so eloquent and smart. 

I roll my eyes even though he can’t see it. It’s too dark. “You know the rules still apply to you, even though you’re Mage’s favorite.”

“And what are you going to do?” He laughs. “You can’t tell on me, Baz, you’re out in the middle of the forbidden forest in the middle of the night too.” 

And he’s right, but I was never going to turn him in. 

“They’ll never catch me,” I promise him. 

“Ok, they won’t catch me either.”

“Incorrect,” I remind him. “You’re much louder than I am.”

He doesn’t respond to me. So I try again. “What are you doing out here, Snow?”

“Why are you being nice to me?” What kind of game is he playing? Just answering all my questions with more questions.

“I’m not,” because it’s true isn’t it? When am I ever nice to him?

“You kinda are,” He sighs. “Nicer than normal anyway.”

“I’m not nice,” I insist. 

“You could be.”

“It would kinda be against the Slytherin reputation,” I chuckle. 

He rolls his eyes this time. “Right because every house is strict like that.”

“Isn’t that what you’ve been saying for years? That I’m evil?” 

“I guess, but you’re not just evil. You’re top of our class. Even better than Penny.”

“I’m better than Bunce because you always drag her into your messes,” I tell him. Because it’s true. The only reason I don’t have to compete against Bunce harder is because he always distracts her, and she always follows along. It must be nice to have a friend worth losing for. 

“Don’t be mean,” He chides. “You were doing well with not being mean.”

I change the subject, “Why are you out here, Snow?” 

“I needed to think,” He shrugs. He’s always shrugging. It’s such a Snow move. 

“And you can’t do that in our room,” I ask because surely it’s easier to think in your own room than in a dark scary forest at night. 

“I can’t think anywhere,” Simon clarifies. “I try not to think.”

God, he’s such an idiot. I want to marry him. Maybe (Definitely) I’m disturbed.

“Why?”

“It’s best not to think about things you can’t have.”

“What can’t you have?” It’s hard to imagine the golden boy of Watford ever doesn’t get what he wants. He could have anything he asked for if he tried.

He doesn’t respond. He’s staring at me pretty harshly though. I wonder if I’ve said the wrong thing. It’s the first time Snow and I have had a civil discussion and I’ve gone and messed it up. 

Maybe I should tell him I love him. Just turn this into a bigger mess than it is. Let this go down in flames. 

Before I can decide what to do, he’s kissing me. He’s pushing me into the ground, and he’s not letting go. 

I indulge him for a minute before I pull away. 

“Baz, I’m sorry, I-”

I cut him off, “Snow, if you’re going to kiss me, you’re not going to ruin my clothes doing it.”

“Well if you’re going to kiss me, you’re going to have to use my first name,” He insists. 

“Deal.” And I press him back against the tree. 


End file.
